Self-Confidence 101

Posted April 7th, 2009 by Dr. Michael Kaye

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I was speaking with my nephew before his basketball game today. His biggest concern was that he wanted a chance—a chance to handle the ball, get close to the net and take the shot.

“What’s stopping you?”

“Well, there’s this one kid who hogs the ball most of the game.”

“Does he always make the shot?”

“No.”

“Then you should assert yourself. Ask the coach to allow you to take the ball to the net and shoot.”

“What happens if I don’t make it?”

“What happens if you do?” He thought about it for a bit and walked onto the court. Before he headed off, I told him to try his best and to have fun.

Like many children, he lacks self-confidence. Many adults also need more self-confidence.

Self-confidence is not necessarily proportional to one’s abilities. Even the most capable person can lack self-confidence.

To build self-confidence, it’s important to try and to fail. It’s a matter of standing back up every time you fall.

Infants don’t grasp the concept of self-confidence. If they did, they would never learn to walk. How many times do you think an infant stands, loses his balance, and falls before taking that first step?

Anytime you try something new, you are undoubtedly hesitant, scared, anxious, nervous, and so on.

Do you remember the first time you got behind the wheel of a car, the first time you jumped into a pool, the first time you went on a date or, better yet, your first kiss?

Self-confidence is directly correlated to trying and failing. Yes, failing. Failing is an experience that teaches you what does not work and therefore… hopefully… what you should not repeat.

Here are some action steps to help build your self-confidence:

-Walk with good posture, upright with shoulders back and your head up. In other words, do not walk slumped over.

-Walk faster. Walking fast implies that you have a purpose.

-Shake hands firmly. There is nothing worse than shaking hands with someone who has a loose grip. I have read stories of people not being hired for a job because of a poor handshake. Shake firmly and look the person in the eyes when you are introduced.

-Avoid terminology that paints a negative picture of yourself.

Building self-confidence is a matter of creating habits and action steps as described above.

Most importantly, have faith in yourself to step out of your comfort zone. Will it be fun at first? Nope. Yet, like anything else, the more you do it, the easier it becomes.

You may wonder how the game turned out for my nephew. He took three shots and scored on one. When I asked him how he thought the game went, he replied, ”Did you see the shot I made?” He didn’t focus on the two that he didn’t make. Today was a good day for him!

“Self-confidence gives you the freedom to make mistakes and cope with failure without feeling your world has come to an end or that you are a worthless person.” ~ Anonymous

To Your Health, Wealth & Happiness!

Dr. Michael Kaye

Knowledge, Action, Results

P.S. To learn more on how to create a life of health, wealth and happiness log onto Dr. Kaye's e-book, From Pain to Personal Gain-One Easy Step at a Time

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Self-Confidence 101

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