You are Valuable

Last week one of my coaching clients and I were discussing the
fact that society has a strong tendency to define a person by
his job or lack thereof.

Many times at network meetings and social events, I have been
introduced to someone who immediately says, “So, what do you do
for a living?”  I think to myself, “Here we go again.”

I used to respond with great enthusiasm, “I’m a chiropractor.”
This statement was often followed by a litany of horror stories
about chiropractors or by my favorite comment, “Oh, you’re one
of those.”  Thankfully, however, the statement also drew many
positive reactions.  Otherwise, I would never have wanted to
admit what I do for a living!

At some point, when I realized that I was often getting the same
responses, I decided to try my own personal sociology
experiment. I started making up different jobs just to see what
would happen. I’ve been an agent for my government. I’ve been an
astrology student. Once while traveling on an airplane, I
assumed my favorite alter-ego; I owned a PhD in nuclear physics
and had a love for astronomy. The conversation following that
disclosure was very short!

When I tell people that I am an entrepreneur or that I own my
own business, they often reply, “That must be great. You get to
work your own hours and do whatever you want, whenever you
want.” Now, the people who respond in such a way are not
entrepreneurs or business owners, I can assure you. Every
entrepreneur I know, including the ones I coach and consult
with, works extremely hard and usually puts in at least 60 hours
per week or more.  Achieving your dream takes more than eight
hours a day and you can’t do whatever you want whenever you
want; it just doesn’t work that way.

What does society have to say about the role of those who do not
work outside of the home?

One of my male relatives stays at home to take care of his son
while his wife works. She is the breadwinner. There are those
who say that he has failed in his role of “man of the house.” In
my opinion, his work is extremely valuable. I would love the
opportunity to be at home and spend as much time with my
children as he gets to spend with his son. A parent or guardian
being home for the kid(s) – priceless.

Many of my female clients who have chosen to be stay-at-home
moms also struggle with this issue.  Society does not label them
as failures in their role outright, as they often do for a man.
They generally are not, however, given the respect that their
counterparts in the corporate world receive and they are often
considered less intelligent than those who work outside the
home. Their identity is frequently defined by the roles they
fill in life – wife, mother, daughter, homemaker.  Once again,
however, their job is extremely important to the family unit
and, yes – priceless.

Other people may be at home because they suffer from an illness
or disability that prevents them from working. Friends and
relatives perceive them as the “go-to-person” to walk their dog,
feed their cat, or wait for the maintenance man who will arrive
between 9 am and 4 pm to fix the heater in their house. “Say,
honey, let’s ask Bob; he doesn’t do anything all day.” Many
begin to question their own value under these circumstances.

Let me share this with you… You are not defined by your job,
your station in life, or your illness. Everyone, and I mean
everyone, brings something important to the table.

When I meet people for the first time I don’t inquire how they
earn their dollar. I say, “It’s a pleasure to meet you. Tell me
about your passion and dreams.”

Have a great week.  Remember that whatever you do is valuable!

To Your Health, Wealth & Happiness!

Dr. Michael Kaye
Knowledge, Action, Results

P.S. If you would like to participate in my Wellness & Success
Coaching Program please e-mail me at
Michael@frompaintopersonalgain.com